I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Randomize
