Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
