Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
