so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
