Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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