No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
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When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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