Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize