This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
