he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Girls should come with a carfax report
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
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