I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Randomize
