Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Randomize