Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Semen is not good for contacts.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
