booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize