Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
