Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
