all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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