No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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