I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
