if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
