Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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