she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
