yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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