come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
