I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Dignity is for republicans.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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