Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
