For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
