Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
someone get that fucking seahorse.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
nutella sex= disaster
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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