Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
