No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
