we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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