rhymes with "ouble enetration"
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
