Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
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