Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
