Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
