HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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