6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
