I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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