I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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