Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
