Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
