I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
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he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize