I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
