doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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