Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
