whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
