So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
