I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
