Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My penis needs a shock collar
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize