There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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