She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I'm bleeding and have questions
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
