he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.