Texts From Last Night

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  (330): View more from Ohio

  i think i have two assholes

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  (330): i think i have two assholes http://tfl.nu/b4sn
  Replies (67) Good night (680) Bad night (4475) Order T-Shirt
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.

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  (865): If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport. http://tfl.nu/vfi8
  Replies (26) Good night (3728) Bad night (1720) Order T-Shirt
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece

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  (781): You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece http://tfl.nu/uonr
  Replies (7) Good night (822) Bad night (2683) Order T-Shirt
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.

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  (763): there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread. http://tfl.nu/qy40
  Replies (35) Good night (1730) Bad night (8448) Order T-Shirt
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job

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  (413): I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job http://tfl.nu/ruqn
  Replies (13) Good night (3751) Bad night (844) Order T-Shirt
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.

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  (314): He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary. http://tfl.nu/wb27
  Replies (8) Good night (1158) Bad night (3518) Order T-Shirt
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me

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  (773): At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me http://tfl.nu/wnez
  Replies (4) Good night (2602) Bad night (933) Order T-Shirt
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.

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  (978): IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES. http://tfl.nu/cxji
  Replies (6) Good night (2246) Bad night (486) Order T-Shirt
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face

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  (973): Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face http://tfl.nu/mow6
  Replies (7) Good night (557) Bad night (1779) Order T-Shirt
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  (315): View more from New York

  Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.

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  (315): Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina. http://tfl.nu/ovxs
  Replies (17) Good night (2216) Bad night (465) Order T-Shirt
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.

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  (802): I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind. http://tfl.nu/o69z
  Replies (1) Good night (990) Bad night (430) Order T-Shirt
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  (407): View more from Florida

  He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...

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  (407): He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on... http://tfl.nu/r90u
  Replies (7) Good night (501) Bad night (1311) Order T-Shirt
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants

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  (425): Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants http://tfl.nu/y64s
  Replies (7) Good night (1124) Bad night (550) Order T-Shirt
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  (660): View more from Missouri

  I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.

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  (660): I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst. http://tfl.nu/whde
  Replies (10) Good night (722) Bad night (261) Order T-Shirt
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!

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  (780): YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!! http://tfl.nu/6lp0
  Replies (3) Good night (614) Bad night (256) Order T-Shirt

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