Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra