p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
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They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
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I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up