Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I lost the right to judge tonight