Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.