All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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