NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
