Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Randomize