I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
