and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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