I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize