is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
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It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
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I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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